I’m sorry I haven’t been posting very much or responding to asks. I’m in the midst of a bad break up and am taking time to self-care. I promise I’ll be back to regularly posting/responses asap, but am going to take as much time as I need to love on and heal myself.
“But you’re not fat, don’t say that,” he responded.
Tell that to the hips that got caught in a turnstile yesterday and everyday that she forgets to turn sideways. Tell that to the stores that stop at size 12 (or size 10 if she wanted to look her age). Tell that to the small woman rolling her eyes beside me on the subway as my booty spills over into her seat. Tell that to the holes my inner thighs have rubbed into every pair of jeans I own. Tell that to the rolls on my back & the crevices in my ass.
Tell that to the silence at the end of your sentence that should say “because fat people are ugly, because if I think you’re attractive you can’t be fat because I’m saving fat to degrade a woman two sizes smaller than you but with a flatter chest & a spare tire. Because you’re not fat is a compliment even when it’s not true because what I’m really saying is you don’t repulse me the way fat people are supposed to repulse me. Because I get final say on your body, not you & I’m giving you a pass for the same dimpled ass I laughed at on another woman yesterday because your waistline is smaller than hers and a normal woman would just be happy with that.”
We live in a world where it’s more acceptable to dislike yourself and openly say “I am ugly” rather than actually appreciate yourself and openly say “I am attractive” because how dare you feel good in your skin and say it out loud, what an awful human being you are, you can’t walk around thinking you’re good, you piece of shit.
And one of the black women was paired with a little black girl and when the little girl was asked when was it that she didn’t feel pretty and the little girl said “when I look at the color of my skin and my hair” and the model was like “why don’t you think those are beautiful?”
and the little girl said “because when I look at princesses they’re all pretty and they have different hair”
and then she started crying.
THIS IS WHY WE NEED REPRESENTATION OF ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE IN CHILDREN’S MEDIA.
THIS IS WHY WE NEEDED A BLACK PRINCESS WHO WASN’T AN ANIMAL MOST OF THE MOVIE, WHO DIDN’T WEAR HER HAIR IN A TIGHT BUN THE ENTIRE TIME.
THIS IS WHY PRINCESSES AND PRINCES OF DIFFERENT RACES AND SIZES CAN’T BE TOKENIZED, THEY NEED TO BE NORMALIZED.
I wrote this post like a year and a half ago! (at least). Like it’s four urls old!
And now I see it on my dash (reblogged by Curvellas no less!!) and I’m like “oh yeaah!”
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame and ridicule, the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield that we carry around hoping that it will keep us from being hurt”—Brene Brown (via mindofataurus)
If you think of a stylish white woman, especially when she is thin, minimal ornamentation and neutral colors and “effortless” hair can be considered part of her coolness.transpose the lack of ornamentation, neutral beiges and greys, and under-styled hair on a fat woman or even a fat woman of color and I bet your bottom dollar that many would find her appearance lacking, “sloppy” even.
I find this outrageously unfair because if you have read any fashion magazine since the mid-nineties, there has been a place for minimalism and under-styling.
Is this place only for thin, white, girls? I surely don’t think so!
“To suggest that one’s belly, body hair or tattoo is ‘distasteful’ and should therefore be covered in the name of etiquette is the very worst sort of body fascism. If your children are traumatised by the sight of a fat person in a bikini, a bit of cellulite or a caesarean scar, then may I tentatively suggest that you aren’t raising them correctly. If seeing someone hairy wearing something skimpy renders you ‘unable to eat your lunch’ then I’m afraid my diagnosis of the problem is with your brain, not their body.”—Natasha Devon, Cellulite, scars, tattoos, hair, bingo wings and bellies: It’s summer - so feel free to get it all out (via zubat)