Watched Sesame Street today while babysitting and today’s “Word on the Street” was confidence! Elmo and friends taught kids what confidence is and that it’s a good thing to have. It’s always good to see children’s programming encouraging self-love. Goodness knows kids need to get that message somewhere.
I know this probably sounds horrible, but I've recently developed mild anorexia-like symptoms. I've struggled with body image for a long time, there's just one problem: I'm fairly skinny. I'm not fat, (I'm about 130 pounds and pretty tall) and whenever I go on these sites I feel like I'm like intruding. Like I'm not welcome, even though I struggle with this alot. So, I guess I'm just wondering, should I even be here?
Sorry this took me a bit to answer!
I wanna say first off that fuck my blog, we need to focus on that first sentence. Any anorexia symptoms need to be taken seriously, “mild” or not. Anorexia is an extremely serious disease, and engaging in any of the behaviors associated with it usually says something is going on with you and you probably don’t feel very great. I’d encourage you to reach out to someone you trust (preferably an adult, but a peer is ok too) about what you’re feeling and what you’re doing. You deserve to talk to someone and you deserve to get help. If you’re nervous about talking to someone you know, you can start by calling the NEDA hotline at 1-800-931-2237. It works Mon-Thurs 9am-9pm and Fridays 9am-5pm. It’s free and really helpful.
I hope whatever is going on in your life that is encouraging you towards anorexic behaviors gets better and that you find there are people in your life willing to listen to what you’re going through and help you find happier, healthier ways to cope.
As for my blog, you’re totally welcome here! This is a place for you. This blog might address fat bodies specifically a lot, but if you see a message that says you’re allowed to love yourself, or anything along those lines, it’s for you too. And you are 100% a part of who I’m thinking about and sending love and positivity out to.
Now please go talk to somebody, hon. I’ll be thinking of you xx
I'm totally stuck and sad. I live in an almost all white community and I'm black. I'm 16 and I've never had a first kiss a boyfriend or anything. I asked my guy friends and they told me that nobody they know really finds black people attractive including them. They think I'm pretty but not attractive. It just feels like they're calling me ugly and I believe them what else can I believe. No boys ever liked me and I'm just distraught over it. Please help I dunno how but please
1. Personally it, sounds like the boys in your neighborhood are racist assholes so never mind what they say. There are millions of people out there who are attracted to black folks and know that the color of your skin can never diminish your beauty.
2. It can be really really rough to not feel desirable to others. But a helpful thing I tell myself is, “why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? you deserve to hold out for a person who thinks you’re the most amazing person on the planet.” In other words, no point in pining for kisses from crappy boys who don’t know black is beautiful.
3. That being said, a kissless existence (when you crave kisses) can still get lonely and I know it’s hard. When you’re feeling blue, do something nice for yourself. Take yourself on a date (it might sound dorky but my pals and I do it for ourselves all the time & we’re 22 so I can confirm it’s cool). Go to your favorite restaurant or to a movie or stay in with a tv marathon and some ice cream. Do whatever makes you feel awesome and while you’re at it, remind yourself of how beautiful you are inside and out, what your unique talents are, what the things that your family and friends appreciate about yourself. Write yourself a little love letter if you want. Be your own sig other because you deserve it and your relationship with yourself is more important than any relationship you’ll have with a boy.
4. You’re at a great age because soon and very soon you will likely be headed off to college or to a job. Either way there’s a good chance you’ll be headed out of your town. Which means you can head somewhere with more diversity and where you can form community with other black women (if that’s not your gender, I apologize! it’s mostly women who write me). And that sounds like something that could be awesome for you. In the mean time, you might find these blogsencouraging.Andthese
5. Finally, don’t worry too much about being kissless. I know it sucks a lot of the time (and that’s what the taking yourself on a date & the ice cream is for). But you are only 16. I didn’t have my first kiss til 17 (and I’ve had many kisses since then) and I know plenty of beautiful, amazing folks who had their first kiss & first relationship much later. You’re gonna do things in your own time and you’re gonna find someone awesome who is worthy of your first kiss. In the meantime, you have a ton of really cool things you get to do at this point in your life that you can’t do later so have fun, and don’t let boys (especially racist white boys) ruin your day or run your world. Focus on your platonic bonds. Once you start dating, you’ll find they mean more anyhow.
I hope this helps. I’m sending happy vibes your way.
Hey y’all! Just wanted to give you a heads up that I’ll be at Otakon in Baltimore this weekend. I got to meet some of you last year which was super cool! So if you’re there & you see me, say hi! I’ll be cosplaying Poison Ivy all weekend (I’ll be the one with an ivy crown)
also for the love of GOD please make skinny people STOP MAKING ‘GUIDES’ FOR HOW FAT PEOPLE ‘SHOULD’ DRESS SHUT THE FUCK UP NOBODY ASKED YOU NOBODY WANTS YOUR APPROVAL OR YOUR SHITTY ASS TASTES IN FASHION. WHEN YOU TALK, THIS IS WHAT I HEAR:
'here this giant shapeless $500 burlap bag is flattering, it conceals all that physical being i don't want to see because i can't abide seeing a fat person engaged in the act of existing!'
'use a waist cincher for that cute, curvy silhouette to redistribute your curvatures to socially acceptable places!'
'dress in darker colors to make yourself look thinner because the idea of a fat woman wearing bright colors and not muting her presence through earth-toned attire is abhorrent to me!'
Sometimes people belittle the body positive movement by saying it’s just about feeling pretty.
And it IS about feeling pretty, feeling pretty can be a huge accomplishment.
But it’s also about disconnecting prettiness from our worth, about unlearning the strong and toxic cultural message that fitting into a narrow definition of beauty determines our value as humans.
It’s about all the tears and the panic attacks and the scars and the brokenness that come with feeling unattractive and feeling like that attractiveness is the most important thing in the world.
Because before you can start to feel pretty when you have felt disgusting and horrible and unlovable for so so so long, you have to learn that you are deserving of respect and love from others AND yourself REGARDLESS of pretty. You have to learn to love the you that’s beneath the skin, the you that is your words and actions and thoughts, your heart and soul. Then, you can decide if you wanna feel pretty, and start to work on that.
And that kind of self-love, one that is more than skin deep, is body positivity.
And it opens up so many doors for you, doors to recovery from mental illness and eating disorders and self-harm, doors to peace of mind and joy and strength, doors to stuff you never thought you could do whether it’s public speaking or actually having fun in a bathing suit or going for the job you’ve always wanted.