Anonymous asked: That post you reblogged makes me depressed. It seems men aren't allowed posts about body positivity. I just...*sigh* nevermind.
I’m sorry that’s your response to a post pointing out the HUGE differences in beauty culture/cultural narratives about men and women’s bodies and that sexism exists.
Of course men are allowed to post about and engage in body positivity (something I’ve said again and again on this blog). The issue is when people- like some of the commentators on that post- pretend that men and women’s bodies are talked about in the same way or that men experience equal expectations and narratives about their bodies to what women experience. That’s simply not true, and erases the existence of sexism.
Men can and should practice body positivity. They just need to acknowledge male privilege and sexism- which is really all that post was doing- while they do it (because men should do that always).
because of that last post, I just want to note to dudes who say, “Well men don’t notice/care about [insert body feature women might be insecure about here,” as a way of trying to help women with their insecurities, you should note before you speak that:
-not all women are attracted to men
-even women who are attracted to men don’t necessarily care about what you think about their body
-emphasizing your feelings about women’s bodies and what is beautiful (even to say that you think certain things society deems undesirable on women are desirable) perpetuates the idea that women’s beauty and confidence is about and should resolve around male desire and regardless of your intention that’s hella problematic
so next time you’re gonna say, “men don’t care if you have a thigh gap” or “I as a man like women with body hair” or something along those lines, stop. don’t speak. just sit down and listen to women.
I was talking to my brother about women’s attitudes towards their bodies, especially regarding weight/fat, and when he said “most guys don’t notice/care about that kind of thing,” I tried to explain why it was a lot more complicated than that. I ended up telling this story.
Body image is something that’s so hard to talk about, and it’s hard to express body positivity without sounding cheesy, false, or overly simplistic. But I’m gonna try. This is only my own experience, and it didn’t magically cure me of all my body image issues - but it was a major turning point for me nonetheless.
dying your hair (◕‿◕✿)
dying your hair bright colors (✿◠‿◠)
staring at yourself in the mirror for hours after you dye your hair and enjoying what a beautiful human you are (◡‿◡✿)
i love nicki minaj and janelle monae because their aesthetics are so far removed from one another but they both actively attempt to defy traditional standards of beauty in their own completely different ways
i think nicki goes “hyper-feminine” (see: Barbie) and challenges traditional standards of beauty by being LOUD in her femininity in both her demeanor and her appearance. yes she likes pink but not only does she like pink she FUCKING LOVES PINK. furthermore, i think she enjoys appropriating male symbols of power or traditionally masculine clothes and “feminizing” them by (flawlessly) incorporating them into her own outfits. or she makes her feminine outfits threatening by wearing spikes and sharp edges
janelle’s aesthetic is more focused around blurring the lines of traditional femininity and masculinity. janelle’s occasional forays into more traditional standards of beauty for women only make it more obvious that she is saying “I am the one who chooses how I look. Today I choose to look this way for myself and tomorrow I may choose to look differently.” she does things like wear a formal white button up, but with a ribbon neck tie. or strappy heels and an all-white suit with a gorgeous necklace. or a suit-inspired dress with a lot of cleavage. she doesn’t even give a shit about gendered clothing and just wears whatever the fuck she wants
i also love love love that they defy white-centric ideas of beauty. nicki has an alter-ego named barbie… what defies white-centric ideas of beauty more than a woman from trinidad calling herself barbie when mattel refuses to release a doll with brown skin called barbie and instead making her one of “barbie’s friends”?
and janelle is constantly constantly using natural black hair and i think she is constantly paying omage to african and african american culture in her aesthetic… i would be shocked if her cover for archandroid wasnt inspired by queen nefertiti
anyways i just love how these ladies dress themselves because i see it as a big middle finger to traditional ideas of how black women should look and i think that’s just great bye